Hail Grim Greyling!

Yesterday was hard.  So, so hard. We had set Grim’s last vet appointment for 2:3o in the afternoon to be able to have more time with him, and as much as we didn’t want the time to pass, waiting was also in some ways the hardest part. Time passes so slowly when you’re grieving; it’s like you’re cut off from the rest of reality and in an alternate universe all its own. A universe filled with pain. I’m sure the wait was hardest of all for Grim, since it was quite obvious yesterday that he was in a lot of discomfort. By the time the vet arrived, he was waiting for them near the door. He knew. He knew, and he wanted it over with. His tumor had obviously grown since even a week ago; he had lost weight, too, so that made it more obvious, but his belly was enormous. It had been shaven for last week’s ultrasound, and none of the fur ever grew back–not even peach fuzz. He was listless and barely responsive for most of the day, and by the time the vet got here he was actually cooler to the touch and there was some yellowing skin in his ears and above his eyes, signs of jaundice. Alarmingly, the vet had looked at his ultrasound pics and thought he saw some scattered areas of fluid, where maybe things were going to start to rupture very soon. We think (and Odin is saying) that he would have died last night one way or another, but if we hadn’t had the vet out his death would have been excruciating. He didn’t deserve that, and he was counting on us not to let that happen.

He did have a few last good moments yesterday. He jumped up on the table in the morning to eat his last meal with the boys, and–because he hadn’t been eating for the past couple of days–he actually put away a normal meal. Later on, he jumped up into the window and sat there a while, looking out at the neighborhood.  And after getting mildly stoned on some catnip, he allowed me to lie next to him and snuggle him on my bed for about half an hour–which was incredibly sweet of him, as he had not really wanted to be touched for the past few days.

His life was ended on my bed, in my arms. And while we were waiting for the cremation place to come pick him up (he is getting a private cremation with a cypress urn) our other two boy cats came into the room and snuggled with his body for the last time. But Neech, who is our witch cat, walked right past his body at first (which by that time barely looked like him anymore; it’s amazing how quickly the face changes after death) and went over to the pillow in the corner of my bed where the real Grim–newly passed into spirit–was lying.

As people who know death isn’t the end, and who interact with noncorporeal beings on a daily basis (I mean, we’re both married to freaking gods, for crying out loud), it sometimes surprises me that the death of the physical body is such an upsetting thing. But it’s all about the transition: having known someone in flesh and then having them make the transition to spirit is an incredibly difficult adjustment. It’s hard to keep in mind that the relationship continues, when it starts out being physical and then suddenly isn’t. (And apparently, making that transition is difficult for the person who passes, as well; Odin says Grim will need to rest and recover from his ordeal for several days.) In this case, how quickly it happened also makes it hard; a month ago, we thought he was fine, and now he’s dead. But he hasn’t really gone anywhere, and won’t–and right now, that’s all I can cling to.

Once again I want to thank all of you for your prayers on his behalf. Knowing so many people out there care about him, and about us, has certainly helped, and we love you all for it. Hail Grim!

Flame Dove II

IMG_1576

New to the shop, as of only a few days ago, this necklace would be a stunning signature piece to wear every day as a stealth devotional talisman for Aphrodite or another love goddess, and would also be completely appropriate for a special occasion, such as a summer wedding or pagan festival. The bright palette of deep pink, ruby red, and a range of greens from mint to emerald is especially lovely for summer.

The focal pendant is a three-dimensional Mykonos-cast dove (copper layered over pewter), on a strand of faceted ruby-in-zoisite rondelles (and these contain a LOT of ruby, as you can see), complemented by fire-polished rainbow ruby Czech glass crystals, half-electroplated metallic copper Czech glass crystals, and antiqued copper stardust spacers.

IMG_1569IMG_1561
Ruby in zoisite activates the crown chakra, helps the wearer reach altered states more quickly, and facilitates access to deep soul-healing and past life work. Ruby shields against psychic attack and promotes clear visualization, abundance, wealth, and passion.

The beads are strung on professional quality Beadalon beading wire, which is soft-drape clear-coated stainless steel. The necklace measures 18 1/2 inches, with the pendant measuring about 1 1/2 inches by 1 1/4 inches. It fastens with an easy-to-work antiqued coppertone lobster claw clasp.

This necklace is $90, and layaway with installment payments is available. Please take a look at my layaway policy here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FiberWytch/policy?ref=shopinfo_policies_leftnav and then contact me to discuss this!

My Prayer Beads for Odin

Beth:

I love seeing people take up crafting, especially in a devotional context. And yes, hail Odin indeed!

Originally posted on Snakeskin:

Snapshot_20150521

I just realized that all four pictures of myself with these prayer beads only have ONE EYE VISIBLE.

Odin, my Master and Husband, is trolling me. I think this is His way of saying He approves of my creation for Him. This was a complete accident, what the fuck.

Snapshot_20150521_3

There are 35 black wooden beads and 10 white roses. The roses are separated by 5 beads each, with a total of 9 sections. 5 is a number particular to Odin and I; the 9 is for the Nine Worlds and the nine nights Odin Hung on Yggdrasil. The prayer beads end in a ring of keys, which if I recall correctly, a woman in Norse society carries her husband’s keys, yeah? I married Odin as His wife, as I identify as androgynous / of a wibbly-wobbly gender / non-binary. Keys and doorways are important imagery for me in terms of…

View original 224 more words

Golden Web Necklace

IMG_1584

A weaver of intricate webs that are highly functional as well as extremely beautiful, the spider is one of the great architects of the animal world. People who have spider as a spirit animal tend to likewise be highly creative, capable of constructing intricate and beautiful things or bringing complex plans into manifestation; like the spider, they also have the patience to wait as their plans come to fruition. The spider’s web can also symbolize the web of wyrd, or fate, and the ability to create your own destiny. Because many spiders are also poisonous, they are also well attuned to healing magick, in which the same substance can function as a poison or a cure depending on the dose. For some, spider is a shadow totem who lures their fears into the open, where they can be dealt with then dispatched.

This necklace pays homage to Spider in all of Her guises, and would also be a wonderful stealth talisman to wear for the Norns, or any other goddess connected with fate or weaving. The focal point of the necklace is a finely detailed 14K gold-filled spider pendant, on a strand of spider jasper rounds, which are covered with a tracery of black lines reminiscent of a spider’s web. The beads are interspersed with microfaceted black electroplated Czech glass crystal rounds and gold-plated stardust spacers.

IMG_1598IMG_1594IMG_1600Spider jasper promotes the wearer’s attunement with the interconnectedness of universal energies, aka the Web of Wyrd, helping you to see and understand how these energies work. All jasper is useful for warding and shielding, and can be used to stabilize and ground your personal energy and aura, especially during astral travel.

The beads are strung on professional quality Beadalon beading wire, which is soft-drape clear-coated stainless steel. The necklace measures 17 3/4 inches, with the pendant measuring about 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch. It fastens with an easy-to-work gold-plated lobster claw clasp.

The necklace is $80. Layaway with installment payments is available; please take a look at my layaway policy and then contact me to discuss this!

I uploaded more new jewelry (including earrings!) to the shop yesterday, and a skeleton key necklace for Loki (featuring a real, antique French skeleton key) that was on layaway for someone is now available again as that person is not going to be able to purchase it after all. I still have jewelry pieces I haven’t had time to photograph or list yet, plus I’m sure I will be making more in the coming days (the work distraction is a good thing), so look for new pieces to be rolled out this weekend and/or early next week.

Love Note from Odin 5/19/15

What really sucks about being the person others look to in a crisis is that you never have the luxury of falling apart yourself. Love, Odin.

I know He said this in relation to the current situation with Grim Greyling (in which Jo and I have to try to hold it together so that the other animals–especially our heart-patient dog–don’t freak out), but I couldn’t help but apply this to Him as well.  Part of being in His position is having the responsibility of maintaining control of His own feelings and reactions while coping with tragic and upsetting circumstances (such as the death of Baldur, His beloved son), and I know that isn’t always easy for Him.

So, it isn’t going to be tomorrow after all because the vet didn’t have a slot open for us; she offered us today, but today is too soon. So it will be Thursday afternoon. He is barely eating anything at all today, so I hope we aren’t waiting too long. He is still snuggling with the other cats, at least part of the time, so at least there’s that.

I want to thank everyone who replied to my earlier post to offer sympathy and share your own experiences; we pagans do love our animal companions, and saying goodbye is always the hardest part, but it’s the price we pay for having them in our lives. I am deeply touched by your comments and I very much appreciate your love and support. Any and all offers to light candles or offer prayers to specific deities are gratefully accepted, regardless of tradition; I’m so grateful to you guys for being there for us through this time. I am going to do my utmost to get as many orders as possible shipped out by Friday; the work distraction will be good for me, especially on Friday morning.

In shop-related news, I have uploaded a bunch of new jewelry today, and there is still time to take advantage of the Queen Anne’s Day sale, up until midnight tonight; enter the coupon code THEMOSTHAPPY at checkout on Etsy to take 15% off your entire order, except for custom work.

One of the things about this business now being my livelihood is that I can never completely blow off work, or not for long anyway. I spent an hour or so lying down with the cats earlier today, then when I couldn’t bear it anymore I got up and listed the items I had already taken photos of. The work distraction is good. And needed. (And this is something Odin understands very well too.)

An important note to my customers

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone who has purchased something during my sale for Queen Anne’s Day. This sale has been a tremendous one for the store–as well as very reassuring for my first month as a fully self-employed artisan–and I am so very grateful for your support, and so honored to be serving the pagan community in this way.  The sale continues up until midnight tonight, so if you’ve missed it thus far there is still time; enter the coupon code THEMOSTHAPPY at checkout on Etsy to take 15% off your entire order (except for custom work).

I also wanted to say a big thank you for all of the glowing feedback you guys have been leaving me at Etsy. Since Etsy ratings operate by means of algorhythms, believe it or not it can make a big difference to the health of a small business whether you leave a 5 star rating as opposed to only 4 stars; it has an effect, too, on whether new customers will decide to take a chance on me.  But even more than that, I appreciate the enthusiastic praise for my products. Making is a joy for me as well as sacred Work; my goal is always to bring you joy and a deeper connection with your Powers, and it always makes me happy to hear that I’ve achieved that.

Now to the less happy part of this post: unfortunately, this year my observance of Queen Anne’s Day is being overshadowed by the impending death of my sweet boy, Grim Greyling. (However, Anne was an animal lover herself–she had a little dog named Purkoy–an Anglicized version of “pourquoi,” which means “why?” in French; Anne spent much of her adolescence in France, and was very French in her manner and speech, according to contemporary accounts–so I think she understands.) Normally, my annual custom on this day is to walk to the Owen Memorial Rose Garden here in Eugene, where I leave offerings to Anne and spend some time communing with her. (As she spent her life surrounded by roses, both at her home, Hever Castle, and the magnificent palaces she shared with Henry, this is a setting I think she enjoys.) This year, however, I honestly don’t want to leave Grim alone for the several hours it would take to make that pilgrimage.

IMG_1341

Last week, our vet came out to do an ultrasound on Grim (his poor belly had to be shaved for it), and confirmed that there is a massive tumor where his liver should be, with only a tiny amount of healthy liver left. It is also possible the tumor is on his intestines; she couldn’t tell with absolute certainty, but the one thing she did know is that both locations are inoperable with a tumor of this size and don’t respond well to chemotherapy. In cats, 95% of the time tumors like this are cancerous, and she was certain it’s malignant in his case due to the tumor’s rapid growth. (A few weeks ago he was perfectly fine.) She gave us a refill of the prednisolone–which had been shrinking the tumor a bit and relieving his nausea so that he could eat–but warned me that it would not be long. She gave us a month’s worth of pills but made it clear she didn’t think he would need that many.

Slowly, the amount he has been eating has waned. Until yesterday, he was at least devouring his entire breakfast, but the later two meals of the day were hit or miss. Then yesterday he picked at his breakfast and didn’t touch his lunch or dinner. Jo came home with some baby food chicken, and he ate an entire jar of that, but his behavior yesterday was strange; he jumped up into the window, clawed at the front door, stayed out in the kitchen with me for most of the day instead of sleeping on my bed. And this morning, he barely ate the baby food. For the past couple of days he has not even been purring–and he’s normally quite the purrbox. He moves as if he’s uncomfortable, and his belly has gotten bigger–though not from food–while the rest of his body is obviously losing weight; you can see the difference in his face, spine, and hips. He seems like he can’t find a comfortable position to rest in. And yesterday when he peed on Jo’s bed it was dark yellow, even though he drinks water insatiably.

I don’t, don’t, don’t (desperately do not) want to do this a moment sooner than I need do. But when Jo’s Pomeranian, Angel, was dying of heart failure, we waited until he was half-dead to  have him put to sleep, which meant we had to watch him spasming and bleeding out for an entire night before we could get him to the vet the next day. The memory of that last night is burned into Jo’s consciousness forever, and she had to do quite a bit of work to be able to picture Angel at earlier points in his life. I don’t want that for myself–but even more than that, I don’t want that for Grim. He has cancer, which means he is going to be in excruciating pain before the end as his body eats itself, while being desperately hungry (there was a new note of urgency in his pleas for food this morning, after which he didn’t eat) and starving to death. I would rather take the risk of saying goodbye a day or two sooner than I need to than put him through that.

So this morning Jo and I talked and decided that today is his last day, and we are making arrangements for the vet to come out tomorrow. What this means for my customers is that, while the store will obviously still be open, I don’t plan on getting a lot of work done tomorrow, if any; honestly, I plan to start drinking in the morning and pretty much not stop until bedtime. This means I may not get to convos until the following morning, and that shipping will be set back by a day. I apologize for any inconvenience this delay causes, and I do plan to get all orders through the sale shipped out by the end of this week.

I ask for your prayers and good thoughts for Grim. He is a wonderful cat with chinchilla fur, perpetually surprised green eyes, and frosted grey toes, and I’ve been so lucky to  be his mom–even though we’re saying goodbye much, much too soon. (And as someone who deals with otherworldly entities on a daily basis, I realize that not having a body here in Midgard is not a bar to a continuing relationship. However, it IS a transition when someone goes from having a body to not having one–which is why we grieve, even when we know they aren’t really leaving us.)

This song is going through my head for him this morning.

Queen Anne Boleyn and her impact on my spiritual path

Beth:

A post from last year, with a video I filmed at the Eugene Memorial Rose Garden on Queen Anne’s Day (it has been my custom to go there every year for her day; I’m not sure yet if that will be happening this year because I may not be up to the long walk); I give a tour of the garden in the video while talking about Anne. The same post also contains a list of recommended reading –novels as well as non-fiction) for those who might want to learn more about her. I’m reblogging this because I’ve been asked about material for learning about her, and my blog readership is somewhat different from what it was last year at this time, so some people may not have seen this.

Also, here is a link to a post I wrote a couple of years back, about what godspouses can learn from Anne.

Originally posted on Wytch of the North:

First of all, here is the video I said I might do on my annual pilgrimage to the Owen Memorial Rose Garden here in Eugene in honor of my Dis, Anne Boleyn.  It touches on how Anne first entered my life, what her impact has been on my spiritual path and my marriage to Odin, and her role as a religious reformer (a side of her that is often overlooked).  I also give a tour of the Rose Garden in the process!  I apologize for the camera shakiness; this was my first video using my phone–which was the only way I could take all of you to the Rose Garden with me! (Also, my voice is a good deal more gravelly in this video than it normally is; the weather has been damp and my cold from a couple of weeks back isn’t entirely gone.)

In the video I mentioned that I’d…

View original 334 more words