So, recently a thing that I put down late last year (although, to be fair, I didn’t so much willfully put it down as backburner it; the store proceeded to get so busy that I didn’t really have time to pursue it) has cropped up again, via a seidhr session for a client. Typically, when something new appears on my spiritual horizon, Odin allows me to put it down at least once–maybe even a few times–if I don’t feel ready for it. However, there is a limit, and a point always comes when He decides enough is enough and demands that I take it up again. It’s looking like, regarding this, that time has come.
And yet, I wasn’t sure–or to be precise, I told myself (and Him) that I wasn’t sure what I was hearing because a) I don’t wanna deal with it, and b) I really hate syncretism–not necessarily for other people, but definitely where my own practice is concerned. It threatens to break my brain. I look at some of the people around me who are mindfully and respectfully identifying god A from culture 1 with god B from culture 2 in their practice (because their research and doxa/UPG has led them to believe this to be the case), and I think, “Thank goodness that isn’t me.” And then I look at a few rather bewildered people discovering after a decade of devotion that their god may not be exactly who they thought He was, and I think, “Well, at least THAT won’t ever be me.”
But my lovelies, pride really does goeth before a fall.
So here I am, minding my own business (quite literally), when all of a sudden Mercurius Rex and Rosmerta pop up on my radar again. And there stands Odin (or should I start calling Him Wodan now? I don’t think He’s going to make me start calling Him anything other than Odin–at least I really hope not), tapping His foot…and smirking.
This is not a new thing, mind you; this is something that He’s brought up before–several times, even–and that I’ve been allowed to set aside temporarily. However, stubborn brat that I am, I asked for a sign that it is actually something I legit need to look into for reals this time.
And, spoiled stubborn brat that I am, I received two. On the very same day, a friend sent me an un-looked for message of support and validation specifically regarding Mercurius and Rosmerta, and I won this. I hardly ever win these drawings; the fact that I won this particular thing, right after asking Him for a sign, went a long way towards allaying some of my fears. (No, this doesn’t mean He’s handing me off, and no, it doesn’t mean He’s not also still Odin–or maybe Wodan.)
While I am not exactly thrilled about this situation, I find that I can’t complain about it too much, for several reasons:
1) I’ve always known I’m getting a slightly different version of Odin from what most of His other wives and devotees seem to be getting; this could be the explanation as to why that is.
2) When you come right down to it, more information doesn’t change who He is; the god I’m married to is still going to be the same Person I’ve been married to for all these years. The fact that He may have once had a different name in another part of the world isn’t going to change that, or anything else about our relationship. As He told me the other day, “I collect masks the way corvids collect shiny things.”
3) While I’m sure some of you who have virtually NO lore about your deities are going to look at me as though I’m utterly insane for this, I’ve always wished, in some ways, that there was LESS extant lore about Odin. The fact that there is SO much of it makes fighting for my own doxa on Him, which flies in the face of the lore in so many ways, a thankless battle. And if the Odin I’m married to is actually Wodan/Mercurius Rex rather than Scandinavian Odin proper…well, there IS less lore. Quite a bit less.
4) The name inscribed on my wedding band in runes? Is actually Wodan, not Odin. Because that’s what He wanted put on it, and I didn’t think much about it at the time. (And after I found out there might be a difference, I dug my heels in and purposefully didn’t think about it at all.) Aaaaaaand…the very first spiritual name He gave me was Wodandis.
So, um, yeah.