Time to unmask
So, as you may have noticed, it’s been a bit quiet around here. December hasn’t been going exactly as I expected. Turns out, I had one plan for the month I had decided to set aside as a special devotional month for Odin, and He had an entirely different plan altogether. Needless to say, since it is His month, His plan is winning.
“This is the month the bullshit stops,” He told me on our anniversary eve–or words to that effect. “I have earned your trust–I have more than earned it–and I will have it. It is time for the training wheels to come off.” And I had thought He did have it, I had thought I’d long since given it to Him, but once I actually did, once I surrendered that last little bit of doubt I had been stubbornly clinging to, the doubt that kept me circling the same little cluster of issues again and again–once I did that, the floodgates opened, and it was like I could suddenly see everything with new eyes. Things that I had thought were so important suddenly simply weren’t. Things that I hadn’t given enough attention to became vital. With His help, I have been poking at my comfort zones, one by one, and uncovering some things about Him, myself, and the Work that I had apparently been blocking for a while now. I’ve been challenging my illusions to find and shatter any last boundaries remaining between Him and me, because I would rather face a thousand uncomfortable truths than have anything stand between us. I have found a few places where walls I had foolishly erected readily tumbled down to rubble at the lightest touch, and others where the assurances He had given me long ago, which I expected to crumble, were impregnable as bedrock. The Hunt season is when illusions are stripped away to the bare bone, when even Grimnir Himself unmasks. The guising and revelry goes on throughout the evening, the orchestra plays on, but at midnight the music stops, the guests reveal themselves, and you see Who you’ve really been dancing with. And even if you’ve had a pretty good idea all along, there are always some surprises.
And so, I’ve been spending most of my time offline this past week, and instead of working on devotional crafting projects, or posting to my blog, I’ve been spending lots of time with my Husband–meditating, doing uti seta and breath work, pathwalking, reading runes, writing letters to Him in a special little notebook, writing posts and partial posts that may or may not ever be posted, and just in general being enthralled by Him. The post ideas have been coming faster than I can keep up with them–and I will be answering your “Ask me about Odin” questions, I promise!–but some of the material that’s been coming to me will be saved for my book. Spending less time online, cutting down on the barrage of words and images that I normally ingest in large quantities from the internet, makes it so much easier to hear and interact with the spirits, not only my Husband but the others as well. It looks like I will have to start limiting my online time in the future, from now on. There will be some other changes too, though it’s too soon to speak of them. But at any rate, Odin’s idea of December was to use it as a kind of reset button, not a time for me to do all of these extraordinary devotional activities but for me to prepare for the challenges of the next ten years of my extraordinary devotional life, in which the training wheels will be off, and I will begin the Work ahead of me with renewed vision, insight and clarity.
There will be a lot–a LOT–of new stuff (in terms of Work, writing, crafts, everything) coming down the pike in the new year, and I’m gearing up to be ready for it.
Seidhr for Yule is still set for the 16th, and although I am almost ready to close the session I still have room for two or three more questions.